God's Love

Well it has been quite a couple of weeks for Jes and I. We are finally starting to get back to some sort of normal routine. The amazing addition of Payton has been a great blessing to the both of us. Jes and I have been enjoying spending a great amount of family time together. It has been fantastic. I love coming home from work to see my "two girls". We have been blessed by many gifts from food for dinners to diapers for Payton from all of our great friends. Our little baby is already growing. I can tell that her newborn size diapers are already getting snug :) The first 25 days of her life have been a true joy to us, and each day after this is just good surprise waiting to happen. Its amazing how sitting up at 3 AM with Payton on my chest sleeping has replaced all of my favorite pastimes. That early morning edition of Sportscenter is now my favorite. Jes and I were laughing the other day about how neither of us knew what was going on in the world outside of our home.

So the other night Payton taught me about what it means to love unconditionally. It was a funny little lesson in life that I know is going to have a profound effect on the rest of my life as a husband and a father. God has unconditional love for us. He takes us and loves us as broken and as ruined as we are. And when we sin He forgives us and loves us even more. We on the other hand are not capable of that type of Love. You see as humans a majority of our love is based on feelings and emotions. Those things can run hot or cold causing us to love more or less based on our "temperature". The closest thing to unconditional love that we can experience is the love that a parent has for a child. I am learning that day by day. So anyway the other night as I was changing Pay's (that is her nickname) diaper, right before I could put the other one on her she peed all over my hands and her pj's masterfully not getting a drop on the new diaper. At 4:30 in the morning that actually is amusing. In fact she was kind of smiling when she did it. I laughed as I calmly cleaned her and the changing pad up and got some new pj's and a fresh diaper on her. So here we are 7 minutes later in my lounge chair watching some Sportscenter Lil Pay decides to projectile spit up all over her daddy, her blanky, and her new pj's. Again at this hour in the morning this is all a little amusing. So I marched off to change her for the 2nd time in ten minutes. And just as I was zipping up her 3rd pair of pj's for the night cute, beautiful, wonderful Lil Pay gave me one more little bit of spit up that covered the entire front of her clean pj's. As I was putting on her 4th pair of pj's in 15 minutes I got a glimpse of what unconditional love is. In her own adorable little way Payton had just taught me one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned.

Here I was looking down at my smiling little infant having nothing but a feeling of love and joy in my heart. Did I enjoy having her spit up and pee all over everything at 4:30 in the morning? Not particularly. Was it a tad of a nuisance to have to change her four times in 20 minutes? Yeah a little. But in a small way that little 20 minute exchange with my daughter made me realize how God must feel when we repeatedly commit sin after sin. We are the infants in His hands that continually do things to upset Him yet He still loves us. He loves us more than we can comprehend.

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


We all know that verse. It is, arguably, the most well known verse in the entire bible. I've read it hundreds of times yet 25 days ago when I became a father myself it hit home harder than ever before. God loves me, you, and everyone else in this crazy, mixed-up, sometimes ass backwards world so much that He sent His ONLY son to come and pay the price for our sins. Sins of old, present, and future were all forgiven when Jesus died on that cross some 2000 years ago. I have a hard time leaving the house to go to work because I know I will miss my daughter so much throughout the day, and here God loves us so much that He sacrificed His only son in a horrific manner to cover the cost of our sins. I love my daughter more than I ever imagined possible but it fails in comparison to the love that God has for us.

In that instance when I was staring down at Pay all covered in spit up I imagined this must be kind of how God spends His days. Staring down at us confused, broken, sinful humans and saying "its ok, I love you more and more each day". We are all broken and not one of us is without sin, but what we do have is the Lord's grace and love. We don't have to be clean or perfect to get that gift of love from Him. God created us to be in a loving relationship with Him, because He is love.

1 John 4:8

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

I'm sure Payton will teach Jes and I many more lessons throughout the course of our lives together, but potentially none more important than this one. I am so thankful for the blessings of my wife and daughter. I feel as if I am richer than Warren Buffet in the blessings department. However I am most thankful for God's unconditional love for me. Without that I wouldn't be where I am right now. I hope and pray all of you will come to accept the unconditional love He has for you.

PS - As I was writing this I took a break to go kiss Pay and guess what? She spit up on me again. Man I love that girl!!!